Crazy Town

So...I think I can safely say I no longer hold a roundtrip, non-refundable ticket to Crazy Town, though I do still keep a spare ticket in my back pocket, just in case. :)  This past year has been a doosie...TONS of changes, challenges, anxiety attacks, tears, fights...but mixed in with those times or darkness are countless moments of excitement, adventures, lessons, joy, answered (and unanswered thankfully) prayers, and little victories.  I feel like I have been drug through the mud, thorns, and over the gravel road....most of the time being pulled along by my own pride and stubborness.  But despite the scars and bruises I have, I feel renewed and strenghtened.  Not that swelling sense of accomplishment and excitement, but a calm, comforting grounding, like my feet are firmly stuck to the ground even if my body continues to sway in the winds of Life. 

I truly realized this the other night while B and I were walking back from class (we are taking a Chem class together....yipppe!).  B was telling me about a friend of his who is having relationship issues and how he had told him that he needed to take "the lead" in the relationship.  This immediately sent me into defense mode since many of the issues with Sh*thead involved the power struggle between the two of us and my belief that he tried too much to control me.  Long story short I proceeeded with a series of questions ultimately leading to the one real question on my mind: How did he think he was the "leader" in our relationship.  I prepared for his answer of "I make all the decisions," or "the buck stops here" or "you do as I say" lacing up my boxing gloves for a Level 11 reaction (as Sh*thead once said).  As I grew red in the face, he looked down at me and said "I pray with you when you cry."  I immediately deflated.  He leads our relationship because he prays with me, because he prays for me.  I don't think I've ever felt more love for B then in that one moment.  I realize that he truly understands what Christ says regarding marriage in Ephesians 5:

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

~ Ephesians 5:22-33

Letting go of the past and focusing on the blessings of my present and future...as well as the pain...that is how I rid myself of the roundtrip ticket :)

Have a wonderful weekend!

P.S. This blog post made me laugh aloud....and inspired me to write today's post. :)